Blackwell Reference Online

Extract

‘Stalemate’ is an expression borrowed from the game of chess by stierlin (1977) to denote the extreme form of negative reciprocity that has degenerated into a struggle for power. It is equivalent to the term ‘deadly embrace’ employed in computer science. In a case of stalemate, the system in question becomes completely frozen. In spite of what may possibly be dramatic surface agiatation, nothing evolves inside the relationship, in which the partners are trapped in a kind of bodilyl combat. Such a stalemate may also arise in the absence of any symmetrical conflict when the relationship develops in a totally complementary way. The alliances one finds in such a stalemate may either be blocked or shifting. Bowen writes When tensions are very high in families and available family triangles are exhausted, the family system triangles in people from outside the family, such as police and social agencies. A successful externalisation of the tension occurs when outside workers are in conflict about the family while the family is calmer. (Bowen, 1978a, p. 201) The structure of triangles in families depends on two variables: the level of differentiation of self and the levels of anxiety and emotional tension in the system. The higher the level of anxiety or the lower the levels of differentiation of self, the more automatic triangulation intensifies. During periods of calm, a triangle is ... log in or subscribe to read full text